Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
