It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
