omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
