Already got asked if we're dating
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Randomize