i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
