they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
