So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
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We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
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Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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