I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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