how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
