just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
