I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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