he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
