Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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