i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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