how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
