my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
