do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
