He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize