fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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