i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
its liver damage thursday
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
