i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
