Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
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I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
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The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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