I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
