I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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