jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Someone shattered a urinal.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
