I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
