white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
