Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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