Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
