So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
