you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
