i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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