I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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