do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
