Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
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