I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
