So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Randomize
