yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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