i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
