I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
