We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
