I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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