if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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