i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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