she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
