Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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