dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
