i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize