Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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