is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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