I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize