I'm really into asian looking animals
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
