Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
