If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
