Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
When are your genitals available?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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