I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
