You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
