so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants