Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better

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  (508): as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better http://tfl.nu/9gj2
  Replies (21) Good night (5240) Bad night (1163)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...

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  (770): He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose... http://tfl.nu/mrqu
  Replies (5) Good night (913) Bad night (4066)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow

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  (770): i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow http://tfl.nu/owei
  Replies (102) Good night (5347) Bad night (1308)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.

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  (651): he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong. http://tfl.nu/ln52
  Replies (29) Good night (9448) Bad night (1625)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.

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  (770): Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave. http://tfl.nu/avq0
  Replies (18) Good night (1274) Bad night (4510)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her

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  (407): we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her http://tfl.nu/n8un
  Replies (10) Good night (4849) Bad night (969)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.

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  (479): He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave. http://tfl.nu/idj5
  Replies (6) Good night (787) Bad night (3179)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend

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  (217): The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend http://tfl.nu/q6fw
  Replies (14) Good night (5309) Bad night (893)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.

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  (828): Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt. http://tfl.nu/toh0
  Replies (23) Good night (3087) Bad night (1012)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on

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  (832): You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on http://tfl.nu/zwxm
  Replies (4) Good night (3161) Bad night (719)
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  (315): View more from New York

  mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.

  (315): View more from New York

  hahahaha slap the bag.

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  (315): mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table. (315): hahahaha slap the bag. http://tfl.nu/tktw
  Replies (2) Good night (1527) Bad night (746)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips

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  (253): I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips http://tfl.nu/j5et
  Replies (4) Good night (1665) Bad night (728)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.

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  (614): You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song. http://tfl.nu/edyj
  Replies (10) Good night (1587) Bad night (614)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.

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  (785): Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals. http://tfl.nu/wiw7
  Replies (4) Good night (1127) Bad night (496)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".

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  (239): Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up". http://tfl.nu/fu9d
  Replies (2) Good night (393) Bad night (581)

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