you guys were way drunker than both of me
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
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you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
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Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.