ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.