Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/xs1z
  Replies (112) Good night (3174) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat? http://tfl.nu/3sn0
  Replies (93) Good night (1240) Bad night (3448)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever. http://tfl.nu/jcyn
  Replies (31) Good night (7709) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT?? http://tfl.nu/ty5z
  Replies (9) Good night (1316) Bad night (4101)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing. http://tfl.nu/l5kn
  Replies (9) Good night (1045) Bad night (2572)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out. http://tfl.nu/ua1b
  Replies (11) Good night (1128) Bad night (2164)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones http://tfl.nu/t1ex
  Replies (8) Good night (2235) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver. http://tfl.nu/smcq
  Replies (1) Good night (1410) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  He was the one that got away. From my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): He was the one that got away. From my vagina. http://tfl.nu/504c
  Replies (8) Good night (1611) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face. http://tfl.nu/ufsv
  Replies (10) Good night (759) Bad night (1766)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping http://tfl.nu/by8h
  Replies (0) Good night (656) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies http://tfl.nu/i19i
  Replies (1) Good night (1187) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?" http://tfl.nu/3rqz
  Replies (4) Good night (1707) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles. http://tfl.nu/5t8w
  Replies (4) Good night (495) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes. http://tfl.nu/cmuk
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (249)

Randomize