Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
