I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
