Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.

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  (703): so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine. http://tfl.nu/s4y5
  Replies (25) Good night (10444) Bad night (1646)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.

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  (715): Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel. http://tfl.nu/yi2m
  Replies (15) Good night (3364) Bad night (1093)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255

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  (567): i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255 http://tfl.nu/6ybk
  Replies (11) Good night (3631) Bad night (1390)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days

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  (412): Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days http://tfl.nu/6wcx
  Replies (9) Good night (4539) Bad night (1000)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.

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  (734): He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good. http://tfl.nu/bj85
  Replies (13) Good night (4786) Bad night (1592)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.

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  (724): NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside. http://tfl.nu/mev5
  Replies (3) Good night (785) Bad night (476)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.

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  (919): When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs. http://tfl.nu/7b1r
  Replies (6) Good night (1701) Bad night (693)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"

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  (303): I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?" http://tfl.nu/z8zt
  Replies (2) Good night (1515) Bad night (442)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you

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  (636): I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you http://tfl.nu/1ybh
  Replies (5) Good night (1088) Bad night (440)
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  (916): View more from California

  Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.

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  (916): Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER. (1-916): Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt. http://tfl.nu/8glr
  Replies (4) Good night (1857) Bad night (636)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  do you want to shower with me?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower

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  (973): do you want to shower with me? (215): only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower http://tfl.nu/5xd8
  Replies (3) Good night (929) Bad night (397)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger

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  (304): They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger http://tfl.nu/q9xy
  Replies (4) Good night (978) Bad night (354)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon

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  (860): I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon http://tfl.nu/xq47
  Replies (3) Good night (363) Bad night (763)
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  (714): View more from California

  The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.

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  (714): The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them. http://tfl.nu/1xdv
  Replies (4) Good night (517) Bad night (365)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night

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  (501): Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night http://tfl.nu/2upn
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (144)

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