Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.

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  (443): Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check. http://tfl.nu/gtrd
  Replies (35) Good night (4714) Bad night (676)
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  (916): View more from California

  I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn

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  (916): I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn http://tfl.nu/z1in
  Replies (4) Good night (3100) Bad night (836)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I don't wanna die...

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  (423): I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!! (615): I don't wanna die... http://tfl.nu/h1ht
  Replies (10) Good night (6754) Bad night (1201)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.

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  (215): Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked. http://tfl.nu/7s06
  Replies (31) Good night (4093) Bad night (1961)
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  (518): View more from New York

  You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops

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  (518): You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops http://tfl.nu/ldeo
  Replies (19) Good night (12818) Bad night (990)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.

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  (864): Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some. http://tfl.nu/bkik
  Replies (27) Good night (3382) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.

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  (816): He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship. http://tfl.nu/hu0s
  Replies (4) Good night (1493) Bad night (374)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.

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  (860): I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time. http://tfl.nu/nvbm
  Replies (11) Good night (1076) Bad night (414)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.

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  (416): My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss. http://tfl.nu/xbc0
  Replies (9) Good night (1101) Bad night (255)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.

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  (317): Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things. http://tfl.nu/c5bt
  Replies (3) Good night (837) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Just pee around me

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  (828): Just pee around me http://tfl.nu/21pc
  Replies (6) Good night (280) Bad night (530)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"

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  (609): he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you" http://tfl.nu/enmx
  Replies (10) Good night (351) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch

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  (785): Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch http://tfl.nu/29tb
  Replies (6) Good night (553) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad

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  (978): Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad http://tfl.nu/i4wh
  Replies (4) Good night (261) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects

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  (425): You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects http://tfl.nu/xrwr
  Replies (0) Good night (556) Bad night (210)

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