I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
