Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
