Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I want to fling myself into the sun
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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