What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
