just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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